Interestingly, my experience on the first day of school followed me throughout my school career. My critical early years of development had been ill-defined. Writing this blog has been a revelation for me. I am fully aware that my life's foundation was not congruent with conventional perspectives.
A good illustration of the difference, though not in isolation, was my concept of self-will or self-esteem. Between five and ten years old, I could not have been aware of the default, but then, neither could anyone else. By not having friends or playing with others, I did not learn to be competitive or enjoy pride in achievement.
I lived on another planet while the needs and objectives of others were meaningless to me; I could adjust to circumstances that I considered logically necessary. This made the difference between the autistic children that I encounter and me.
As I observe my adopted and autistic grandchild, I wonder if I might have had a similar disposition. I could and can modify and adjust my behaviour as necessary. The autistic child needs constant supervision, refocussing and repeated correction.
A good example was my father's desire for me to be a good tennis player. He spent many years of despair getting me motivated. By the time I turned 18 years old, I could play an excellent and robust game, but I was never devoted. Winning or losing was immaterial; I simply played for the sake of playing.
Being at school was always a foreign experience; I never really belonged or was comfortable. I don't share the typical values of society, particularly those of today that include celebrity worship or the consequence of sports achievement.
I have always lived on the 'edge', thus not wasting space!. My experience throughout my school years is yet to be revealed.
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